Tag Archives: modern fables

Death Loses Again!

He ran his wheelbarrow down the center of the freeway.

It was night. Someone screamed, the barrow swerved, a body landed in it, and then the black-hooded, scythe-in-hand, fist-raised figure holding the handles laughed and disappeared, and then again was there and everywhere, on a million highways at once.

“What the hell? It was what today?”

“146,357.”

“Average, so madly average. I hate average!”

“Were on track. I’d say 50 to 60 million again this year. Heart disease is stable. Cancer is good, a real producer.”

“But we put out this week! I expected more!  Ah, we need something new, like tobacco. Love tobacco! So freakin’ effective.”

“Stop whining and get back out there! The guppies are winning!”

“Shut up!”

“Grass is winning!”

“No! Quiet!”

“Seeds are winning!”

“You better quit! I can’t take this from you!”

“Butterfly eggs — beating the crap out of you!”

“Stop it! Stop it!”

“One step ahead of the grim reaper … ever the exultant sower!”

And then all hell broke loose as the empty, dark hooded, machete wielding figures went at each other, in haste, frothing and sweating and cursing. And while they fought, seeds sprang from the soil and burst into flower, creatures from eggs sprang forth, flying and singing and praising, and babies — blushing, skin as soft as fluff — took their first triumphant breathes in a warm, watered, food-filled, life-washed world.

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Death

Good

Once there was a man who wanted everyone to be good.

He himself grew up in a good family. He went to good schools, and was a good student, and when he set out on his career, he founded an non-profit organization based on helping people to become good. He spoke publically about the value of good, wrote widely about the benefits of being good, and modeled with his life the way of the good.

He supported good laws, he teamed with good organizations, he  promoted the campaigns of good leaders and he gave away lots of money to fund good causes.

One day, after he had given an impassioned speech about “The Power of Good,” someone asked, “How do you help someone who wants to be bad?”

“There is no one way,” he said wisely, “to make someone who wants to be bad, good. We must fight the bad with multiple weapons. We must put in place good laws to show them what good and bad really are, we must discipline and punish them when they don’t do what is good, we must teach and train them in the process of becoming good and we must always be good ourselves, so that people can see that true goodness is possible.”

Upon hearing this, the listening crowd cheered.

A week later, when this good man was led away to prison for the embezzlement of his investors money he was asked by a reporter, “How is it that a good man like yourself could possibly have cheated the very people who trusted him?”

He responded confidently, “I did nothing wrong. I took the money so that I could do more good in a way that no one would know about.”

“Really?”  said the reporter, “It looks like from the evidence that you spent most of that money on homes, cars, trips and entertainments for yourself.”

“I only did that,” said the good man, “so that I could model the intrinsic benefits that come from being truly good.”

When the court case was over and the good man was sentenced to many years in prison, one of the investors who lost her life savings to his swindle, was given a chance to confront him.”

“You harmed me,’ she said, “You took my life savings! Now I don’t have enough to live on and nothing to leave to my children. And the worse thing about you,  is what you won’t admit and don’t know.”

“And what doesn’t he know?” asked the judge for everyone in front of the packed courtroom, sitting on the edges of their seats and listening intently.

“He doesn’t know,” said the woman, “That none of us, including him, are good. At best, we are just honest, and perhaps forgiven.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Good

The Corvette and the Peach

Once day a Corvette was on its way to hangout with family and friends when it looked up at a billboard and fell in love with a peach.

It was the most perfectly fresh peach that one could ever imagined. Even going by at speed, the Corvette could see its soft fuzz. A small slice had been taken from it and was lying at the front of the billboard. The Vette could see the sweet moist flesh, perfectly ripe, red and yellow — totally gorgeous!

“I love that peach!” said the Corvette, and veering off the freeway at the next offramp, it made its way back through the city streets to find the billboard peach. And then there she was!

The Corvette parked, turned off its engine, turned on the radio and settled in to flirt, joke, adore and enjoy some superfun.

Six months later the sign company came and took down the billboard and put up a picture of a bottle of Coke. They had to ask the Vette to move to get in close enough to do their work.

“What happened to my peach?” said the Corvette as workers left.

“I think they must have all sold all the ones they had in stock,” said the workmen.

Then the Corvette hung its head, drove away through the city streets, hopped on the freeway and headed up to the house.

When it got there, no one was home.

Leave a comment

Filed under Love

The Cowboy and The Commandments

One day a large, particularly well-scrubbed cowboy walked into a church with a six-gun swagger, leaned over the raised partition of the desk of the lovely office manager and demanded, “Repeat the two most important commandments!”

The office manager rolled her chair back, looked over her shoulder to see if the cavalry might be riding in from the behind her, and seeing no one, did a quick check to see if the front of her desk was high enough to prevent a rodeo trick.

The big white hat then said loudly,“You shall love the LORD your God with all your might, all your soul and all your strength, and you shall love your neighbor as yourself!”

He paused for effect and asked dourly,”Don’t you know the commandments?”

Then the cowboy leaned further toward her over the desk and asked for a gas card.

In precisely that moment, the pastor came from the back to say that the church wouldn’t be giving out any gas cards to men in cowboy hats who could quote the commandments.

“What kind of Christians are you?” asked the cowboy incredulously.

“We are the kind who don’t give away gas cards,” said the pastor.

“No, you are the kind that will rot in hell!” said the cowboy.

“Are you freakin’ kidding me,” said the pastor, “we’re Baptists!”

“Hell was created for Baptists!” yelled the cowboy. “Because they don’t help anybody!”

“Actually, I have  thought of that possibility,” said the pastor. “We are so messed up here! You wouldn’t believe what we refuse to do for people. We refuse to pay their cell phone bills!”

With that, the cowboy turned abruptly on the heels of his shiny cowboy boots and blasted out of the office door.

“Pray, for us!” yelled the pastor to the large white hat as it floated away from him across the parking lot and headed straight toward a fullsized, late-model black and chrome truck.

Then, just as the office door had almost closed, the pastor and the office manager thought they saw the cowboy throw one of his hands in the air as if to worship — or perhaps not.

Leave a comment

Filed under Spirituality