One day a large, particularly well-scrubbed cowboy walked into a church with a six-gun swagger, leaned over the raised partition of the desk of the lovely office manager and demanded, “Repeat the two most important commandments!”
The office manager rolled her chair back, looked over her shoulder to see if the cavalry might be riding in from the behind her, and seeing no one, did a quick check to see if the front of her desk was high enough to prevent a rodeo trick.
The big white hat then said loudly,“You shall love the LORD your God with all your might, all your soul and all your strength, and you shall love your neighbor as yourself!”
He paused for effect and asked dourly,”Don’t you know the commandments?”
Then the cowboy leaned further toward her over the desk and asked for a gas card.
In precisely that moment, the pastor came from the back to say that the church wouldn’t be giving out any gas cards to men in cowboy hats who could quote the commandments.
“What kind of Christians are you?” asked the cowboy incredulously.
“We are the kind who don’t give away gas cards,” said the pastor.
“No, you are the kind that will rot in hell!” said the cowboy.
“Are you freakin’ kidding me,” said the pastor, “we’re Baptists!”
“Hell was created for Baptists!” yelled the cowboy. “Because they don’t help anybody!”
“Actually, I have thought of that possibility,” said the pastor. “We are so messed up here! You wouldn’t believe what we refuse to do for people. We refuse to pay their cell phone bills!”
With that, the cowboy turned abruptly on the heels of his shiny cowboy boots and blasted out of the office door.
“Pray, for us!” yelled the pastor to the large white hat as it floated away from him across the parking lot and headed straight toward a fullsized, late-model black and chrome truck.
Then, just as the office door had almost closed, the pastor and the office manager thought they saw the cowboy throw one of his hands in the air as if to worship — or perhaps not.
Modern Fables and Antifables 