Category Archives: Love

The Insult

“You tormented raccoon!” she said, floating off the kitchen floor.

“You rabid cockroach,” he responded, floating like a helium ballon to the ceiling light. He hung there in midair.

“Demonic feline,” she said rising and circling him.

“Diseased bat,” he called coming face-to-face to her by means of a soft arm flap.

Hovering together in the kitchen, they took hands and free fell giggling, in formation, to the floor. They bounced softly off the tile, and then tilting, they helicoptered into the front room.

They separated. She wafted over the table lamp and tossed off, “You psychopathic possum!”

From near the ceiling he chortled back, “Demented camel!”

She rose in the air to meet him, and eye-to-eye,  in the cathedral vault they tickled each other, laughed hilariously, took each others hands again and tumbled softly from this great height onto the couch. Leaning back on the cushions, they moved closer together and watched some TV — with caramel popcorn, dark chocolate, lime bars, chai tea, warm blankets and fluffy cats on their laps and all around.

She reached over and ate some of the popcorn out of his bowl.

“Beastly beast!” he muttered.

“You wingless termite,” she reparteed.

“Thou field,” he turned to her, “thou stone, thou clod, thou summer dust thou!”

They both laughed. She touched his cheek, and then pulling up the blanket that covered their legs they settled in for the next show.

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The Corvette and the Peach

Once day a Corvette was on its way to hangout with family and friends when it looked up at a billboard and fell in love with a peach.

It was the most perfectly fresh peach that one could ever imagined. Even going by at speed, the Corvette could see its soft fuzz. A small slice had been taken from it and was lying at the front of the billboard. The Vette could see the sweet moist flesh, perfectly ripe, red and yellow — totally gorgeous!

“I love that peach!” said the Corvette, and veering off the freeway at the next offramp, it made its way back through the city streets to find the billboard peach. And then there she was!

The Corvette parked, turned off its engine, turned on the radio and settled in to flirt, joke, adore and enjoy some superfun.

Six months later the sign company came and took down the billboard and put up a picture of a bottle of Coke. They had to ask the Vette to move to get in close enough to do their work.

“What happened to my peach?” said the Corvette as workers left.

“I think they must have all sold all the ones they had in stock,” said the workmen.

Then the Corvette hung its head, drove away through the city streets, hopped on the freeway and headed up to the house.

When it got there, no one was home.

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